On this episode of
I Love New York it’s time to bring back the exes…every one’s exes. New York gets to meet the ladies in the fellas’ lives and they get to meet her exes, Chance and Real. New York introduces the ladies then splits up the couples. The ladies get grilled by New York and Sister Paterson and the fellas get grilled by Chance and Real.
The Interrogation:
Tailor Made and his wife Nancy
New York says she was expecting Ciara or Beyonce…but instead got Aunt Esther…or better yet Wesley Snipes in To Wong Fu (hilarious, effed up, but hilarious). The ladies find out from Nancy that Tailor Made has a tendency to get hot and heavy pretty quickly. He and his wife were married only 9 months after meeting. Chance and Real drill him as he sits sweating out his hair plugs. They fire questions at him not giving him a chance to answer and he squirms around in his chair stammering and stuttering. The final question: WHY ARE YOU GOING BALD?! That question doesn’t even make sense…it’s still funny, but it dosen’t make sense.
The Entertainer & his ex-girl Megan
New York says that Megan must like to eat cus she’s big. Damn for someone who’s weight fluctuates like a mother
fu@ker New York needs to shut her damn mouth. Anyway, Megan reveals that The Entertainer is still living at home which is news to New York and Sister Paterson. She also tells them that they broke up because of his temper and because she didn’t see a future with him. Meanwhile the guys grill The Entertainer about his name. They want to know what he does that makes him an entertainer. When asked where he works…the answer: UPS. End of story.
Punk and his ex-girl Crystal
Is it me or does Crystal look like a combination of Serious and Nibblez? Moving right along, they don’t really find out much about Punk from Crystal except taht they only went out for 4 months and there was no love there. Back at the bat cave things get really heated as Chance and Punk go toe to toe. Chance is runnin around hollerin and actin a fool like normal as Punk sits calmly dishing dirt back at him. He says, “He thought I was soft and tried to test me only problem is I past tests all day long” (yes, please insert lisps ad nausium). Finally when Punk gets sick of listening to the little blackle he turns over the table.
I knew those muscles were for something. Everybody gets real calm after tables and chairs and light fixtures go flyin every damn where.
Mr. Wise and Khia
Khia reveals that they’ve been off and on for four years, she thinks he still loves her, and they spoke only a few weeks ago. Mr. Wise says that they went out for three years, he doesn’t love her, and they haven’t spoken in months…hmm.
Buddha and Thais
New York is suspicious that none of his exes could be on the show. She thinks he has something to hide. But apparently his last girlfriend was psycho and he had to get a restraining order on her. His sis tells the ladies that his last relationship was five years ago and that he has a temper that he’s working on. She’s not surprised he got physical in the house. Buddha admits to the guys that he yoked up Tailor Made but would never hit a woman. Maybe someone should take some anger management classes cus if you ask me he’s about one step away from punching New York right in the eye.
Pretty and his sis Lashonda
New York lays into Lashonda about whether or not Pretty is gay. She also asks her when he lost his virginity and whether or not she’s ever walked in on him having sex. Lashonda, obviously uncomfortable says no to to everything. She also tells them that she’s never met any of his girlfriends. The guys ask Pretty about the gay rumors and he says, “I mean there’s gonna be rumors anyway but who gives a flip” (No, he didn’t confirm or deny the rumors. Yes, he really said who gives a “flip”.). He tells the guys that his mother and sister are very important to him and have met every one of his girlfriends…interesting.
Dinner:
New York goes to dinner with Chance and Real to compare notes. Most of the time is spent with Chance and Real trying to rally for Chance to re-enter the house. Chance tries to romance her with his mystical bird chest magic.
She lets him kiss all up on her but eventually regains her composure and they all head back to the house for a cocktail party.
Meanwhile at the house, Pretty feels the need to call his sister at the hotel to find out what she was asked. I’m assuming he wanted to know if she spilled the beans about his fudge packing ways. She tells him that she was uncomfortable with the questions she was asked. He gets pissed and decides to confront New York about her questioning.
The Party:
When New York and the boys get back everyone (the fellas and their former ladies/sisters) are in the back yard chillin. Sister Paterson takes one look at chance and New York looking cozy and she calls New York on it. She tells Buddha and Punk that Chance was all over her and they go to talk to Chance about it. He confirms it but starts hollerin and throwin stuff again so Real gets him outta there before he gets his frail hind parts broken into itty bitty pieces.
New York tries to settle things down and starts talking to the guys about her findings. When she gets to Pretty (who’s been boiling about the treatment of his sister OR just looking for a reason to leave) he flips out. They start yelling at each other. He says something about getting her weave fixed (something a queer would say, no?), grabs his bags, and heads out the door.
Elimination:
New York opens the floor for comments. Punk asks New York if there’s any way that she may still have feelings for Chance. She says no and apologizes to the guys for her moment of weakness (cue the violins). Tailor Made says he’s there for her. The Entertainer says he forgives her. Wise says, “I’m here.” Yes, Mr. Wise…you’re just there. Why don’t you do us all a favor and go somewhere else. But Buddha, well Buddha lays into her and keeps questioning her loyalty. She’s crying and explaining herself and finally Sister Paterson has seen enough and stops the line of questioning basically saying: If you don’t trust her then bounce.
Who’s in?
Buddha
Punk
Tailor Made
The Entertainer
Mr. Wise
They all are! Since Pretty left early all the guys get to stay.
Who’s out?
I just told you! Pretty.
I’M SUDDENLY INSPIRED TO DO SOME SQUATS!
The woman who was assaulted by Da Brat a few weeks ago has hired Willie Gary as her lawyer. He’s infamous for winning millions of dollars for his clients. He released the following statement:
